he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
