so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
