i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
