What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
