I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I die, sorry about rent.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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