remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
