so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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