My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
