Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Houston, we have a blender
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
