VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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