She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
