Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
