You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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