THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
