OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
