Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize