Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We just shotgunned beers for America
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
