belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize