There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
