In the future we'll all be gay
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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