1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
