i may or may not be watching the land before time
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
