Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
