She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
