First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
