jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
