My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
