Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
