I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this beer tastes like vomit already
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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