So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
