john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
