It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
