after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
