as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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