i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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