walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He felt like a one man threesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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