Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
