am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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