i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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