Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
