Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
