Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
