Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
