D3 body, D1 cock
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize