i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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