Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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