I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Two words: nipple clamps
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