He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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