One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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