i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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