hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
