She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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