OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
everyone is single if you try hard enough
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
