I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
