How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
