is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
