I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
