I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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