You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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