Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize