I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
